Want To Want Me
by EllaNight
Summary: "He's hoping she might want to reaffirm their relationship, their exclusivity and her unwillingness to share. He wants her to. Wants her to claim him, to dig her claws in and proclaim him hers. He wants her to want him." AU from 5x02 where Castle goes home after Beckett has forgiven him. Posted for Castle Fanfic Monday.
1. Chapter 1

_AU from 5x02 where Castle goes home after Beckett has forgiven him. Inspired by Jason Derulo's song Want To Want Me. Submitted for Castle Fanfic Monday_

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Out of respect, he wanted to give her some space. She said she wasn't ready after the whole interlude with Kristina Coterra and if he's being completely honest with himself, he can't blame her. If the situation had been reversed, if he had somehow walked in on Kate with another man on top of her, he would have been more than a little miffed. Oh, who is he trying to kid, he would have been out of his mind. No one compares to Kate, he has known this for quite a while, has been aware of just how extraordinary she is since the first case they've ever worked together. He never thought it would be possible to think more highly of this woman but he now knows that no one will ever come close to comparing to Kate Beckett. The start of their relationship has shown him that. She's more open than he ever would have imagined her to be, she's… more, in every sense of the word.

And now he's here. Stripped down to nothing, lying in bed and admittedly cursing his decision to give her some space for the night. Even if she hadn't been ready to cross that line with him tonight –not that there is much of a line left to cross, they've made sure of that over the past month, given her suspension – he still wishes he could be with her. Castle never thought Kate would be one to cuddle but the past month has shown him otherwise. She craves his touch, reaches out for him blindly in the night and wraps his arms around her, preferring the warmth his body emanates as opposed to that of the thick comforter.

Recalling just how warm they'd both been a couple of nights ago when they'd taken advantage of an empty loft, brings Castle back to the present, only to realize how _hot_ it is. Kate's absence should leave him cold, empty, void, but instead he finds himself burning. Burning for her touch, her lips, the press of her body against his, the way her slender curves fit his so well. Beads of sweat coalesce on his forehead, and he can feel a wet trail making its way down the curve of his back. He pushes his sheets to the floor.

No.

He promised her space and four years prior to the start of their relationship he was able to give her just that. Why does the concept of space seem so elusive now? Evidently it's because he knows. He knows what he's missing out on. He knows that while he's here in his empty loft, lying naked on his bed with the sheets on the floor, he could be with her. He should not be finding himself in this predicament. He pays a large bill each month to keep air conditioning in his home and he should _not_ be considering leaving it because he can't seem to regulate his body temperature in the absence of Kate's presence. In this moment, he'll concede that ignorance really I bliss because if only he didn't know-

A text notification startles Castle from his inner turmoil. He reads the text and if his temperature wasn't already well above average, it is now.

 _I wish you hadn't left._

Castle doesn't bother answering her and blindly reaches for the sheets only to realize they are already piled on the floor. He gets up faster than he did when he realized his mother was home the morning after his and Kate's first night together. Her text has sent his restraint out the door and if that wasn't an open invitation back to her place, he doesn't know what is. God, he loves her. Only he can't tell her that yet because he knows she isn't ready to hear those words. Though it does nothing to subdue his feelings.

She knows him. Knows him well enough to send a text because she's aware he wouldn't want to push her. And now he can't pull on his pants fast enough to get to her. He wants her, more than he's ever wanted any other woman before and his need for her, his effervescent hunger hasn't simmered down since they've been together. No, it's continued to heat, to intensify, to fill his body to the brim and threaten to overflow like boiling water on a stove. There is no taming the heat Kate Beckett has unleashed in him.

With his jeans on and his shirt half buttoned up, Castle barely remembers to grab his wallet from the nightstand as he rushes to the door. His left foot is half way out the door and where are his keys? He grumbles as he reaches back into his apartment towards the key holder, leaving his foot outside because he refuses to stay one more moment in his home without her. Deeming the wait for the elevator too lengthy he hastens his pace and heads for the stairs, taking them two at a time before he makes it to the lobby. He pushes past the door that leads to the main floor and earns himself and puzzled look from Eduardo as he opens the door for Castle in advance, recognizing his rush to leave.

"Everything okay, ?" the doorman asks just as Rick manages to hail a cab.

Castle barely has time to answer as he practically dives into the cab but lets out a "Fine!" hoping he hasn't worried Eduardo. He turns to the cab driver and gives him Beckett's address.

"In a rush?" the man asks from the front seat.

Castle pulls a twenty out of his pocket and hands it to the driver.

"Get me there fast," he tells him. He receives a nod and the cab takes off before he has time to buckle his seat belt.

He doesn't care though, because the faster they leave his building the faster he'll get to Kate. He thanks the universe he had the good sense to grab his phone on his way out of the apartment and he finally takes the time to write her back, though it's barely been five minutes since she's sent her text.

He aims for short and to the point.

 _On my way._

Not usually his style. He's usually one for more elaborate explanations, especially in the written form, but he doesn't want to assume anything. She might still be upset and want nothing more than his presence.

Or she might want more.

She might want to reaffirm their relationship, their exclusivity and her unwillingness to share. He wants her to. Wants her to claim him, to dig her claws in and proclaim him hers. He wants her to want him. Rick Castle has never wanted to be claimed or owned but with her he yearns for it, aches to feel her fingers mapping his skin, marking her territory. It's primal and he realizes he's going a little caveman but it's what she does to him.

He is hers. In every way, shape, or form, she has him. The deep sated need to have her know that he has never been anyone's as he has been hers makes itself known and his eagerness to get to her amplifies. His heart bubbles with it and he needs to prove it to her, prove that there is no one else, and that despite their relationship being somewhat new, he knows that there will never be anyone else. Certainly not in the way that he wants her. His phone buzzes and before looking he knows it's her. Her response is as concise and to the point as his was.

 _Good_.

Oh, how he hopes she isn't still upset with him. He's content to give her whatever she'll be willing to receive but the blood he feels rushing south as the cab pulls up to her apartment wants him to believe otherwise. Castle thanks the driver, pays quickly and heads for her front doors. He enters, and decides to take the elevator up, buying himself some time to cool down and he attempts to reign in the need he feels seeping out of every pore.

He's not nearly as calm as he'd like when the doors of the elevator open on her floor but he can't bear to be away from her for another second. He takes a deep breath when he reaches her door and knocks three times.

Castle waits, and in the silence that fills the hall he thinks he can make out the sound of her feet heading towards the door. His heart rate picks up, in tandem with the pace of her steps towards him. He senses her stop when she reaches the door. In their month together he has found that their bodies are as in sync as their minds. It takes a couple of moments before she opens to him and he realizes she must have been checking the peep whole because the sight he is greeted with has his nerve endings firing. And he hasn't even touched her yet. She pulls him inside of her apartment quickly and he's glad because we wouldn't share this view with anyone in the world.

She's wearing nothing but a smile.

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 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I would love to know what you all think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Note the rating change to M**

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He feels himself being pulled in across the threshold of her apartment and just as quickly she is pushing him back, using his body to shut the front door. Her lips are on his, ruthless and demanding as soon as he feels his body's momentum come to an abrupt stop as the door fits in its frame. He sighs in relief at the sensation of her skin, soft and pliant against his.

"Kate," he can't help the release of her name from his lips as he comes up for air but continues marking her neck with a wet trail of kisses, never wanting to sever their connection. She clings to him, one of her legs coming up to bracket his hips, the other tangling in his hair keeping his mouth on her skin. Her body keeps him warm and just as he'd predicted, he finds he doesn't mind this kind of heat. No, he doesn't mind it at all. Not when all he wants is to have her closer, keep her sheltered within his arms and have her stay within the cove of his body's embrace.

God, it had only been a couple of hours but he'd missed her fiercely.

"Castle," she moans out his name as his teeth scrape the ridge of her collarbone, his tongue coming out to soothe mere seconds later. His hands span the width of her back, the right keeping her lower body in contact with his and the other running up and down the upper regions of her spine. He feels her breath at his neck, her lips making contact with the shell of his ear and he swears, this woman will be the death of him.

"You're mine," she whispers and his entire body seizes with passion, coils with want and need for this woman alone. He forces himself to pull away from the call of her neckline and pulls his head up to meet her eyes. Framing her face with both hands, Castle makes sure she's with him, that he's got her complete and undivided attention because she cannot miss this. He needs her to know.

"I'm yours, Kate. So completely yours and I'm s-"

He's cut off by the press of her lips over his as she steals the words from his mouth and catches his bottom lip between her teeth. "I know, Castle, and I trust you."

He hadn't known how much he'd needed to hear her say those words but he suddenly feels his chest being freed from a painful weight. He loves her with a ferocity that scares him sometimes, and he needs her to feel it, at least know it, even if she isn't ready to be confronted with the words yet.

"But," she continues and he cringes, hopes this doesn't mean he has to leave again, or that she'll be covering up any of that glorious skin any time soon, "I can't change the fact that women are going to look at you. Or want you in their bed." She nearly snarls the last part and he should not be finding this cute. She's being serious and he should not be smirking, he knows this.

He knows even more when she fixes him with a glare. Oh, she's predatory, and just as he'd so desperately hoped, she's staking her claim. She's letting him know and he's loving every second of it.

"Next time something like that happens, Mr. Castle, I want you to be remembering this,"  
She punctuates the last word with a sensual roll of her hips against his upper thigh that has him groaning, breaking eye contact with hers and burying his face in her neck, panting against her skin.

"I want you to remember _us_ , and the way we feel together."

She palms his jean clad backside with her hand, uses her grip to pull him in closer, their hips flush. Castle feels the rest of his blood zipping south and his arms around her back tighten, keeping her as close as he can. He wants to hear her, loves that she's so vocal about wanting him, about wanting him to want her. He's the writer but he's short for words in this instant, has no idea how she's still coherent enough to keep making her point, but he loves it, wouldn't trade it for anything. Wouldn't trade her.

"Kate," he breathes her name like it's the only truth he knows and at the moment it very well may be. Kate. She's all he wants or needs to breathe.

"Say it again."

He's confused, he hasn't said anything but-

"My name, say my name again, Castle. Remember who you're with, who you'll always be with."

His body jolts at her breathless confession and _fuck_ if he isn't completely ruined. She all but admitted she wanted him forever and damn it if he doesn't want to let the words fall free from his mouth. She's making it remarkably difficult to keep his praises of love to himself. He wants to tell her. More than anything he wants to tell her, but for now he'll have to settle for showing her because he won't risk scaring her off, not now.

He growls and brings both his hands from where they rest on her back to the underside of her thighs, hoisting her body up and into his arms. She gasps and secures her arms around his neck, tightens her thighs along his waist. "Kate," he says, looking up at her and her eyes close as her mouth descends on his. Castle traces the seam of her lips with his tongue and she opens for him immediately, pulling him in, driving him to the brink of insanity.

"Always yours, Kate."

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They barely make it to her bedroom because he keeps getting distracted by the feel of her mouth, her sweet, talented, glorious mouth nipping at his jaw, and trapping his earlobe between her teeth. He attempts to keep his pace even and to hold her steadily in his arms but she complicates things when on top of her mouth's distracting ministrations, her hands get to work on unbuttoning his shirt and feeling the revealed skin, searing his chest with the touch of her palms.

He finally makes it and he's actually kind of proud he got them both there in one piece considering the leisurely pursuits of her hands and mouth. He sets her down on the bed and as soon as she untangles herself from around him, Kate gets to work on the button of his pants, not wasting a second. She shoots him a daring smile, one he's seen when she's determined to get her way and part of her already knows she'd won.

Oh, she'd won all right. She'd got him wrapped around her little finger. And he doesn't even care one bit.

She's sitting down on the bed and her face is practically eye level with his crotch and God, the thought of her mouth has his toes curling, his heart beating a little faster. He wants her so much, would never force her to do anything but Kate seems to like having him under her spell.

And that's what she wants tonight, she wants control, wants to have him writhing under her touch, her mouth.

He's read her right.

As soon as she pulls down his pants, her hands enter his tented boxer briefs and -

 _Kate, Kate Kate_

She's holding him in her hands, and suddenly the hot wet glide of her mouth sets his world aflame and he can't keep his eyes open. He groans as she sucks and her tongue swirls at his tip and God, this woman knows no restraint and how could she even think he would want anyone else, could ever dream of being with anyone else when he's had a taste of this, of _her_. She moves up and down the length of him, leaving no part of him untouched or uncharted; she controls all of him.

And suddenly she's humming around him and the vibrations have him bucking and _shit_ , he didn't mean to do that, never wants to hurt her or push past her limits but she just-

She has him so lost in sensation that he can barely breathe.

Castle instinctively pulls on her hair gently, motioning her up, needing her to let go otherwise he'll never last for her, not with her mouth so hot and wet and willing.

He pulls her down on the mattress and he needs to kiss her, needs her mouth and so he does and the soft moan she lets loose has his hands clenching around her waist.

"You're so unbelievably sexy," he tells her when their lips part for air and he sees her smile. He hopes with all his heart he believes it, because he's seen supermodels and movie stars and none of them hold a candle to her or what they have. She is it for him.

He reaches his hands down and cups the back of her knees bringing them upward so that her legs can wrap around his midsection from underneath him. He cradles her to him, holds her lower body up with one hand as he aligns himself at her entrance and his other hand caresses the sharp angles of her jaw, her cheek, her neck.

She gasps when he enters her in one long smooth thrust, leaving her time to adjust, and shit, he needs time too because she's so tight around him, fits him so perfectly he still needs a moment to catch his breath. He holds his own where stamina is concerned but with Kate driving him to the brink, there are no guarantees. She makes him lose all control.

He feels her nudge her pelvis forward and takes it as his cue to move. He kisses his way down her collarbone, pays extra attention so that one spot he knows drives her crazy as he pulls back and enters her again, establishing a steady rhythm.

"Rick."

His name leaving her mouth on a breathless moan has his length twitching and his pace increasing, needing her with an urgency that rivals forest fires.

His mouth travels lower, latches onto one of her breast and she mewls, her head thrown back and shit, _shit_ , he's so close.

He feels her growing restless, her body gyrating to increase the speed of their body's and one of his hands move down, his thumb circling against the bundle of nerves at her core. Her back arcs off the bed, her face contorts in pleasure and her mouth opens to let loose a high pitched moan and it all has the tight coil of pleasure in his midsection exploding, his own moan joining the echo of hers. His release is powerful and all-encompassing but he has the presence of mind to keep up the gentle swipe of his thumb still at her center, prolonging her pleasure for as long as he can until she's grabbing his hand, begging him to stop, to let her recover.

His breath is still coming in pants as he lets himself fall down on his back against the mattress, bringing her to rest with him at his side.

Kate sighs contentedly, complete sated from beside him and it's all he could ever want. The woman he loves, happy and by his side, her head resting on his chest.

He feels her repositioning her body, moving herself up the mattress so that she can be eye to eye with him.

"I'm yours too, you know," she whispers softly, the corners of her mouth turned up in a slight smile, her eyes shining with something a little shy but with so much sincerity.

He feels his own smile stretch the lines of his face but the happiness he feels in this moment, the love he has for her cannot be contained.

"That's all I could ever want, Kate."

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 **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed it! I'd love to know what you thought of this piece. Thanks for reading!**


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